Creatively Healing

It’s so great to be back! I had surgery three weeks ago, am still healing, but doing well! All of my biopsies came back negative for cancer, Praise God!

I have been struggling with several things lately. My depression has been so deep & dark. It’s been hard to make myself do the basics, but writing about it shines a light into that darkness & ignites hope.

I’ve really been struggling with making healthy decisions the past couple of weeks and have used poor judgment more than once. I don’t like to make mistakes and beat myself up every time I do.

Having been in Eating Disorder Recovery for a pretty long time, lapses & relapses weigh heavily upon me. I have a lot of stress going on in my life and there are so many things that are outside of my control. It’s not crazy in times like these to turn to an old coping mechanism, albeit an unhealthy one, to try to find some semblance of control…my Eating Disorder.

Yesterday, I really messed up & had some potentially dangerous physical & mental consequences. It, by no means, was intentional, but rather a huge mistake on my part. I immediately contacted my Therapist and told her what happened & what was happening. I followed all of her recommendations, contracted with her, and rested the rest of the day to take care of myself.

I was very verbally & mentally unkind to myself for making such a huge mistake. My best friend reminded me to speak kinder to myself & gave me some lovely self-care exercises to do to show love & forgiveness towards myself. I needed to do everything and I did! And, it made me feel more loving & accepting of my humanness & mistake(s).

I’ve been working on the subject of “Grace” for a while now. What is grace? For me, grace has always been something that I have excelled at giving to others, but have struggled & often refused to extend to myself. I found a lovely definition of Grace on Pintrest (Author Unknown). I loved it so much, I even printed it out & framed it! “Grace [noun]: The gentle reminder that you can be human and still worthy of every good thing.” This means we can be less than our attempts to be perfect and that we can make mistakes & still be worthy of good things! How awesome is that?

So, after yesterday, I am working hard to get back on track & extend grace to myself. No one is perfect, we all mess up. I’ll be the first to admit that I am not perfect & mess up quite often. Thankfully, God’s grace is always there for us and we deserve others & our own grace.

I hope today’s blog reminds you to be kind to yourself, be gentle with your mind, and extend grace to yourself whenever you need to! Thanks for visiting! I look forward to seeing you again soon! Take good care! See ya!